Tri-Tip Molto Bene with Grilled Asparagus

So the last two (three?) weeks, nothing happened.

I ate only cheese pasta and zucchini, didn’t do any dishes or laundry, watched SYTYCD auditions and several Criminal Minds marathons, and listened to the same albums on repeat while I went slightly mad in my hot, peeling attic room writing a novel (!) every night til 4 am. Bad. I think we got drunk a few times and ate some frozen custard too.

This is our last post together for a while. I’m moving to a renovated concrete warehouse loft this week and John’s going back to Jersey for 4 months. BUT THE BLOG WILL GO ON. I know you all care.

What this means: approximately 50% of the photos will be shittier than the rest because I will be taking them now. There will be some new backgrounds and surfaces from both of our other houses. I might show off pictures of my apartment in hopes Apartment Therapy will magically find it (one of many internet pipe dreams). That’s about it.

btw: John is on the twitter over here. I’m on the twitter here. I am as senseless and strange in 140 characters as I am here. Promise.

Also there is literally no reason why this recipe is called Molto Bene steak. It just is. We didn’t pick it.

Molto Bene Steak with Grilled Asparagus (adapted from James Purviance again)

6 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

3 tbsp red wine vinegar

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

1 tsp minced garlic

1 tsp kosher salt

2 sprigs of rosemary

STEAK. however much you want. We used 2 nice tri-tip steaks.

Asparagus, trimmed, also however much you want

Mix marinade ingredients. Put the steak in a ziploc bag and pour in the marinade, mushing it around. Throw in the refrigerator for 2ish hours to overnight and pull out 30 minutes before cooking time. Heat up the grill (can you do that yet? I think we almost can) and scrape the nasty shit off your grates. Grill over direct high heat with the cover closed as much as possible for 5 minutes a side. Don’t light it on fire or it will turn into a meat briquette. Drizzle the asparagus spears with more balsamic vinegar. Let the steak rest 5-10 minutes after taking it off. Immediately throw the asparagus spears on there until they get grill-marked and crunchy. Winner.

Bye John :(

Bye John’s camera and grilling skills :(

Rigatoni al Forno

al_forno

Tonight is a celebration. As of today, both of us are now employed in low-paying, highly competitive advertising internships, and that is an excuse to eat some FAT FOODS with cheese and cream and carbs. Also al forno = ‘in the oven’, for any plebs currently reading.

So why is this pasta SO AWESOME? 

a) it has a pound of meat in it. IRON.

b) it uses Mid’s pasta sauce, which is the only acceptable (yes we think Ragu is gross and if you use it you might be gross too) jarred sauce for under $6.

c) it has heavy cream AND full fat mozzarella, the kind made with cream cheese.

How the hell do you make something like this and not die of a heart attack? Answer: just don’t be old. Make it while your body can take it. You can always buy an illegal prescription for Lipitor from India off the internet if you’re feeling self-loathing.

Rigatoni al Forno (an ‘original’ recipe, not stolen from the internet or Mark Bittman or Marcella Hazan like everything else we cook)

Ingredients

1 jar Mid’s Meatless pasta sauce

1 lb ground sirloin (the only low-fat part of this recipe)

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

1 package Kraft mozzarella with the Philly cream cheese logo

1 box rigatoni, which can not be substituted, because rigatoni is superior

Preheat the oven to the broil setting. If you are too poor to have a broil setting then do 450 or something else really high. Boil some salty water in a big pot and brown the ground beef in a bigger pan than you think you need. Do not brown any garlic cloves in there no matter how fancy you think you are, because we have tried this, and it is disgusting. Add the Mid’s sauce and set to very low heat, stirring pretty often.

As the pasta finishes, add the heavy cream and stir so that the sauce turns light and orangey (don’t add it too early or it will curdle when mixed with the sauce acid, which is nasty). When the pasta is just under al dente (almost edible, not crunchy, but not totally ready) drain it and add to the sauce/meat mix. Stir and throw in a few handfuls of the mozzarella. Dump all the pasta into a cast iron skillet and put the rest of the mozzarella on there. Do you feel fat yet?

Broil for 5-10 minutes until the cheese is bubbly and looks like pizza cheese. Serve it out of the skillet (keeps it hot), then rub it in to everyone around you how much better your dinner is than theirs.

Aglio y Olio

The simplest, most delicious meal when you are about to leave town, own no food, and don’t want to blow $50 bucks at Whole Foods for 5 items. It is our permanent fallback for blizzards, during allergy season, after drinking, and before drinking. Sometimes during drinking. There are very few life problems that aglio y olio does not improve.

Ingredients:

Box of long pasta

1/3 cup olive oil

4 cloves of garlic

Hot pepper flakes (optional)

Salt and pepper

Parmigiano Reggiano

Cook your pasta to the appropriate al dente. While it cooks, crush the garlic cloves with the side of a knife and brown in oil with the hot flakes. Remove from heat.

Save a little pasta water before draining. Remove the garlic mush from the pan and put the pan back on the heat with the pasta, adding the reserved water (to help it bind). Grind some black pepper and grate Parm on top after plating.